Monday, July 16, 2012

I'm a Winner...

Henson Ray of Henson's Hell held a contest and I was one of the three lucky winners. Woo Hoo! If you enjoy top quality kitty videos you will love his videos. You will fall in love with the characters. Here's Henson's notifying post:
I am please to announce the three lucky winners for my latest contest. They will each receive a Wizardofwit t-shirt and a copy of the "Cat Clips DVD, Volume One." If you are one of the winners listed below, please send me your mailing address via feedback@wizardofwit.com

Winners:

Daisy of Daisy the Curly Cat

Grace of Broadway Matron

Sandee of funny comedys

Thanks to everyone who participated. I'm sure there will be another contest coming up in the near future, so don't be discouraged if you didn't win this time. I like to spread the love around.

Financial Planning 101

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit $200 million."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

Hat tip: Nick M.

How to Sell Toothbrushes

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited.

Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Mary was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Mary" said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath ...

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny. "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog poo!"

Then I would say,"It is dog poo. Wanna' buy a toothbrush?"

"I used the governmental approach of giving you something sh*tty for free, and then making you pay to get the taste out of your mouth.

Hat tip: Babs of Beetle's Memories 'n' Ramblings